By Dave Buchanan
The plot combines the Babes-lost-in-the-forest story with the Robin Hood legend. The comedy comes thick and fast with two lots of comic duos: the robber assassins of course, and a dim-witted pair of Men in Tights called Big John and Little John. Plus, a really villainous Sheriff. And an unforgettable Dame!
PLOT RESUME
The Babes come to visit their uncle, the Sheriff of Nottingham, little suspecting that he is planning their demise. But never fear, help is at hand! - in the shape of Robin and his Merry Men, plus Lady Marian, and Nanny Dame Dannii (with two Is).
| CAST 5 MALE 4 FEMALE
4 M/F PARTS |
Tommy & Teenie (babes)
Syd & Cecil (robbers)
Lady Marian (PG)
Robin Hood (PB)
Alan A-Dale (minstrel)
|
Sheriff of Nottingham
Dame Dannii
Big John & Little John (comic duo)
Garth the Urchin
Mutch the Miller
|
5 MAIN SETS
Production notes inc FX and musical numbers uggested.
SET PIECES
Schoolroom scene
Dame's bedroom scene (Do you have an actor who dares to play this Dame?)
maypole & robotic dances
boxing ballet
Script Sample - Dame Dannii
Enter R Alan A-Dale, the minstrel, in characteristic pose. He strikes a few notes on his mandolin
Alan Oddsbods! Gadzooks! A door’s ajar!
(To audience)
What do you think of it so far?
But here, to raise a laugh and cheer
Behold, Up Left, the Babes appear!
To his embarrassment, the Babes appear UR
Ha-ha! Up Right, I meant to say
And now I’ll bid you all good day!
Alan exits DL
Enter UR the Babes, Tommy and Teenie, and Dame Dannii
Tommy is dragged on by a huge dog on a very long lead. The dog bolts off DL with Tommy
Dame Tootsie! Sit!
Dame Dannii and Teenie stand C
Tootsie emerges from UL, still dragging Tommy, and bolts off DR, nearly sweeping the Dame off her feet
What’s got into that mutt?
Tootsie re-emerges UR, crosses the stage, then runs round and round Dame Dannii, entangling her legs with the lead
She sways alarmingly, then falls
Oh, help, me bum’s numb! Me posterity's paralysed!
Tootsie tries to lick her face, but she is angry
You daft dog! You pesky pooch! Just wait till I - See when I'm angry, I'm relentless!
Tootsie cowers DR, whimpering
Teenie You don’t mean that, Nanny? Tootsie is a good dog.
Teenie comforts Tootsie. The Dame relents
Dame All right, I didn’t mean it. Come on, Tootsie -
Tootsie is all over her
Here’s a bone. (She produces a bone) Now, you know what you have to do.
Tootsie leaps up to get the bone
No, no, you daft mutt, you have to beg.
She demonstrates begging. Tootsie finally begs
Oh, look at all these people. Hello, everyone! I’m Dame Dannii. That's Dannii with two Is. You know, like Dannii Monogamy! And I'm rather like Dannii, don't you think? And big sister Kylie. You know, Kylie and I have one thing in common. A cute bottom.
She turns round and flashes her bloomers, which have the legend "Kiss Me Quick"
And another thing Kylie and I have in common is, we both work out. At the gym. Lovely boy, Jim! He's my P.F.C. Personal Fitness Consultant. He tones my muscles and massages my epidermis. You know I went for a sauna bath the other day. I went into this room all steam and white tiles, took all my clothes off, lay down in the middle of the floor and when the steam cleared I was in a fish and chip shop!
You know, I'm on a special diet. It's an oily diet. All I take is salad oil, vegetable oil and sunflower oil. I haven't lost any weight, but I don't squeak anymore!
Teenie Nanny?
Dame What is it, Teenie?
Teenie Don't you think we should get back to the script?
Dame Oh yes. Whose line is it anyway?
from Robin Hood & The Babes In The Wood, Act 1 Scene 5
Script details
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