Or, No Holds Baa-ed
By Christine Battison
A charming new version of the much-loved nursery rhyme. A shorter pantomime ideally suited for schools.
PLOT SUMMARY
Crisis at Waitbury’s supermarket in Wallow-in-Mire as their trolleys go missing, and Squadron Leader “Squiffy” Huntley Palmer is stumped. Heroine Bo-Peep’s sheep are also missing. Can suave French villain Monsieur Camembert and his assistante Petite Parisienne be responsible? And what is their evil plan?
Follow Bo-Peep, Squiffy, and Rrrf the dog as they cross the Channel to Baguette-sur-Mer to confront the dastardly duo, rescue the lambs, and save the day.
| CAST 2 MALE 5 FEMALE
3 M/F PARTS |
Bo-Peep, heroine
Rrrf!, Bo-Peep's collie dog
The Wolf
Lady Bargate Stone
"Squiffy" Huntley Palmer, squadron leader |
Flora Olivio, supermarket manager
Fairy Liquid
Monsieur Camembert, villain
Petite Parisienne, Camembert's assistant
10 Lambs (Chorus)
The Masqueraders, a local folk band
|
3 MAIN SETS
Production notes inc FX and musical numbers suggested.
Please note that running time is approx. 90 minutes
Script Sample - Dirty Business Afoot
Menacing music as Petite Parisienne and Monsieur Camembert enter SL but out of sight of Flora. There will be business here as they creep around. FX for Fairy Liquid as she enters SR. She waves her wand and characters freeze
Fairy Liquid Now, arf a mo, what have we here?
A foxy couple do appear.
Oh, I know this unsavoury pair,
Petite Parisienne and Camembert.
What they're about is far from clear,
But I shall watch them, never fear. (Flicks wand and exits)
Petite Parisienne Voilà! This is the place. (Points to audience) Look at all those people trying to find a trolley when there are only little baskets. (Cackles)
Camembert (menacingly) Oui, ma chérie!
PP (to audience) My name is Petite Parisienne and this is Monsieur Camembert. He is the Big Cheese around here.
Camembert (goes and sits next to Flora on bench) Aha ha ha! My pretty little crème caramel. Why are you looking so sad?
Flora (she moves along) Oh, alas and alack! Most of our trolleys are missing and the intrepid Squadron Leader Squiffy Huntley Palmer and Tootles are at this very moment trying to hunt down the culprits. But I fear for their safety.
PP (sits next to Camembert) This is good news, but I wonder who is Tootles? Huntley Palmer we know. Oh, yes indeed. Anyway, now we can put your clever plan into action. You distract her whilst I go and load the rest of the trolleys into the lollies, I mean lorries. Then, off to board the cross channel ferry. (Exit SL)
There will be business during the dialogue as Flora tries to avoid Camembert's advances and the Wolf eventually joins in
Camembert (gets up and struts about talking to audience. As he does so the Wolf enters and mirrors his every move) Listen to me, you rabble! Little do any of you know that I am the leader of the famous Escargot gang. We are trolley smugglers par excellence. We take them across the channel and flog them to our French supermarkets. (He sits next to Flora) Now then, my little pomme frite, how about a little cultural exchange? (He goes to grab her and she jumps up and moves to other end of bench)
Flora Unhand me, you villain. I am not going to be your little hors d'oeuvre!
from Bo-Peep,
Act 1 Scene 3
Script details
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