CINDERELLA
By Dave Buchanan
The most loved of all pantos, and the plot line almost sacrosanct. This version concentrates on comic set pieces, especially those involving the Ugly Sisters. Outstanding are a vintage car scene and a classic ballroom scene involving several musical styles and hilarious dialogue. Another scene has Cinders and Buttons spirited to a South Seas island when Fairy Foozle gets her co-ordinates wrong! There is a secondary plot called "The Baron's Revenge" on a hen-pecked husband theme.

"Thank you for an excellent and funny script, the best I've read in my long search for material."
Peter Screen, Upstage Theatre Productions, Glasgow

"Cinderella was performed over the weekend after 6 months of rehearsals. It was FABULOUS!!!!!!! I can't tell you how well it went down. Petunia's fake leg will go down in history as one of the great comedy moments.
One addition you might enjoy was that after Lady Hardup asks if the Baron is on Viagra, they performed 'You're The One That I Want', from Grease, just as J Travolta and Olivia Newton John did it, right down to the stubbing out of the cigarette. That stopped the show.
Thank you so much for the script. It was superb."
Susan Pym, St Columba's Church, North London

PLOT RESUME
Cinderella lives at Hardup Hall with her father, Baron Hardup, but has rather a hard time at the hands of stepmother Lady Hardup and stepsisters Begonia and Petunia. The latter are determined that Cinders shall not go to Prince Charming's Grand Ball, but the Baron and his staff, Buttons, are equally determined that she shall. And of course she does, with the help of Fairy Godmum Foozle.

CAST 2 MALE 5 FEMALE 6 M/F PARTS
Cinderella (PG)
Baron Hardup
Lady Hardup
Fairy Foozle
Dandini		 Buttons
Begonia & Petunia (Ugly Sisters)
Sandee & Andi (Comedy Duo)
Prince Charming (PB)
Mia & Lida (native girls)

4 MAIN SETS
Production notes inc FX and musical numbers suggested.

SET PIECES
Vintage car scene
Transformation scene
Extended ballroom sequence including a rap
South Sea Island scene

Sample Script - Fairy Foozle

Fairy Godmother Foozle has been trying to fix Cinderella up with a gown for the Ball. She points offstage L. Cinderella exits. The curtains close behind Foozle

FOOZLE I hope it’s not going to be one of those days. (To audience) Hello, boys and girls. Want to see a trick? ("Yes!") Just watch this. (Recites)
Abracadabra Fairy Power,
Make this wand into a flower.

The wand is transformed into a flower

Voila!

Buttons returns with a banana

BUTTONS Here! What have you done with Cinders, you silly moo?
FOOZLE Watch who you’re calling names, Buttercup.

Cinderella re-appears in an outrageous mini-skirt and fun-wig

Song 6: "Barbie Girl" (Buttons & Cinderella)

CINDERS Foozle, are you sure this is right?
FOOZLE You have a point, princess.
BUTTONS Bloomin right! You’ve made a booboo, Foozle.
FOOZLE We’ll try again. Why don’t you go through this time, Buttercup?
BUTTONS No chance, Floozie, old girl!
FOOZLE Touché! But not so much of the old, or I might just turn you into a buttercup. So why not be a good boy and walk through there.
BUTTONS Well all right, but be careful.
FOOZLE I will.

Buttons exits L

FOOZLE Now then. Let me see.

She produces another wand and makes a pass

Hocus pocus, one two three,
Mumbo-jumbo, let it be.

Nothing happens. She smiles sweetly at Cinderella

Slight technical problem.

She makes another pass

Boogie woogie, six five four,
(Tommy Cooper) Just like that! (Larry Grayson) Shut that door!

Nothing happens. Cinderella makes "bored" gesture

Oh dear, back to the drawing board. One more time.

Didgeridoo hullabaloo
Scooby Dooby where are you?

Still nothing

I have it!
Well it’s one for the money,
Two for the show,
Three to get ready,
Now go, cat, go!

Buttons reappears wearing an Elvis Presley suit and mask, and does an Elvis impersonation

Song 7: "Blue Suede Shoes" (Buttons)

BUTTONS Just call me Elvis.
CINDERS Foozle?
FOOZLE Never mind. I’ll fix it later. Get the banana, Buttons.

Buttons exits Left and she makes a pass

I’ll say it once, I’ll say it twice -
Scarey, Sporty, Baby Spice!

Buttons reappears with a giant cut-out banana

CINDERS What’s this for, Foozle?
FOOZLE Well it was meant to be your transport. I meant to turn it into a coach and horses, with footmen and things.
BUTTONS I’ve never ridden on a banana before. I’ve heard of going to work on an egg, but going to a Ball on a banana?
FOOZLE I knew it was going to be one of these days!
BUTTONS Of all the fairies in the world, we had to get this one!
FOOZLE I’ll just have to spirit us there.
CINDERS I can’t go to the Ball like this, Foozle!
FOOZLE Look, no worries. Trust Foozle. Plan B will now operate. Just watch.

Foozle rummages in her bag and produces a black box

CINDERS What on earth is that?
FOOZLE It’s a transporter.
BUTTONS A trans- what?
FOOZLE No, not a transwhat, a transporter. It’s an electronic gadget. A gismo. Works by electricity.
CINDERS You’ve lost me now, Foozle.
FOOZLE Well, you see, round about the year 2000 -
BUTTONS 2000!
FOOZLE These become very popular. Mainly due to a children’s fantasy called Star Trek. For some reason, it becomes very popular even with grown men, who run about in silly costumes calling themselves Trekkies. Anyway, this gadget can magically transfer people from place to place.
CINDERS And you’re proposing to use it to get us to the Ball.
FOOZLE Precisely.
BUTTONS You’re not on, Foozle. That’s a definite no-no.
FOOZLE Do you have a better idea?
BUTTONS No, but -
FOOZLE Well, then, stand aside.

She starts fiddling with the transporter, which makes a bleeping sound. The other two stand at a distance

FOOZLE All we have to do now is utter the magic words, "Beam me up, Scotty". Perhaps the boys and girls could help. (To audience) Will you? ("Yes!") All together now. Beam me up, Scotty!

The audience go, "Beam me up, Scotty!"

BUTTONS They’ll have to do better than that.
AUDIENCE Beam me up, Scotty!

From Cinderella, Act 1 Scene 5

Script details

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