The Eagle Eye

ONE ACT PLAYS

THE EAGLE EYE
Award-winning farce by Peter Rolls.

PLOT RESUME
The Vicar's wife has invited a couple of friends to share their Creative Writing. The results are appalling, but she is convinced there is an outlet for their talents - in the shape of anonymous letters. As the Eagle Eye, they will tackle Sin in the village: scourging guilty souls, imposing penance and increasing church attendance.
Their campaign is most successful, but they are finally rumbled by a certain Happy Harry, with hilarious results.

CAST 4 FEMALE 1 MALE PARTS
Geraldine Runciple, an ambitious organiser Thelma Doone, spinster and retired school secretary Lilian Craddock, down-to-earth mother of three Aunt Olive, Geraldine's elderly aunt, a loose cannon Edmund Runciple, the Vicar

1 SET
The study at the Vicarage, Greystone Abbots

TIME - the present
DURATION - approx. 26 minutes

Script Sample

(After an initial success, the ladies are planning their next move)

Enter Geraldine, Thelma and Lilian carrying teacups. They look pleased with themselves

GERALDINE Edmund is out, but he won't mind us using his sanctum.

All settle into their seats

Firstly, of course, we can congratulate ourselves. Yesterday's showing at the church was most rewarding.
THELMA Four out of four!
GERALDINE Squirming like worms on a hook.
LILIAN Red hats, red faces. A whole row of shame.
THELMA You could almost warm your hands on them.
LILIAN That Fred Brill. You wouldn't think he'd got the puff for it.
GERALDINE Edmund was delighted. Puzzled, but delighted. Four new members for his flock ...
LILIAN Still, skinny ones are often the worst. My sister's first was thin as a rake. But always at the old hoe, hoe. Did for him in the end ...
GERALDINE A distinct success. So I suggest ...
LILIAN: When I was a girl, we had a little ditty: (recites)

	Sin, sin, glorious sin.		
	Nothing quite like it for keeping you thin.

GERALDINE Please!
LILIAN Thin is how you can tell. And the flush ...
GERALDINE Lilian, please let us get on!
LILIAN ... It's the guilt. And the candle at both ends.
GERALDINE We have been shown the Way. We must follow it.
THELMA Absolutely. There are surely more than four.
OLIVE (enters with binoculars) Well, you can put Mrs Haymill down for a go.
THELMA What, at this time of day?
OLIVE Shameless. Cavorting about up there. I hardly knew where to put myself.

All rush to the window and peer across the road. They jostle for the binoculars

OLIVE Pity. They must have put the lights off.
THELMA: They! How many were there?
OLIVE Just the two of them. Mind you, there were enough arms and legs for an octopus.
THELMA: Who was the -er, other party?
OLIVE I don't know. He was wearing a mask.
GERALDINE Mask!
OLIVE Ram's head.
GERALDINE Depravity! Just what we need.
OLIVE Shook me, I can tell you. (Feels her back) Nearly fell off the cupboard.
GERALDINE Well done, dear. Take a seat. (Ushers Olive to easy chair. Turns to others.) Now then, our first efforts were well rewarded. But we mustn't stop now. I'm sure we've all been thinking hard. How far have we got?
THELMA More than just thinking, dear. I've taken actual photographs. The Marsworth girl ... (hands round photos) and her boy-friend - up in Piptree Lane.

All examine the photos carefully

GERALDINE Excellent! We need to attract the younger element.
LILIAN OK, but they're just holding hands.
THELMA That was early on. Then it got dark - and I could hardly use a flash.
OLIVE So how do you know?
THELMA I've got ears, dear. Frightened the wildlife!
GERALDINE Disgraceful.

from The Eagle Eye

259 The Moorings, Dalgety Bay, Fife, KY11 9GX.
Tel: (01383) 825737 E-mail: enquiries@spotlightpublications.com