The Protest Meeting one act play script

ONE ACT PLAYS

THE PROTEST MEETING
By Gill Morrell
A comedy for six actors

PLOT RESUME
The play is set in a village hall where a meeting has been called by Geoff to protest about a proposal to knock down the pavilion on the village recreation ground. He is joined on the platform by a number of villagers representing local organisations who all have their own agendas. Pamela from the WI is more concerned with getting the refreshments organised. Mike from the Fęte Committee is obsessed with its marquee and particularly with erecting it. Miss Smith, an idealistic schoolteacher, has some suggestions for the campaign slogan, while Ian, representing the Cricket Club is obsessed with - cricket. Tracy, the drama club rep, has vivid recollections of the pavilion: it was where, during a production of “Little Red Riding Hood”, she spent most of the time being pursued by the wolf, both on- and offstage.
The play moves with humour towards a conclusion in which true motives and agendas are revealed. There are good solid character parts for three men and three women.

CAST 3 MEN 3 WOMEN

GEOFF is a middle-aged estate agent, slick and manipulative, who likes to think he runs everything.
PAM is a middle-aged stalwart of the WI, who has lived in the village all her life.
MIKE, representing the Fęte Committee, is a local farmer with few if any inhibitions.
MISS SMITH is middle-aged, a fluffy and fluttery, idealistic school teacher.
TRACY, the drama club rep, is young and pretty, determined and no fool.
IAN is an accountant with the local council and, representing the Cricket Club, is a keen cricketer.

SET
A village hall

TIME - the present
DURATION - approx. 35 minutes

Script Sample

Ian runs in. He’s panting. He wears full cricket gear and carries a bat

Ian Sorry I’m late. I’ve been at net practice.
Pam So we can see. Whiter than white, not like some people I could mention not a million miles from here.
Ian I’ll have to get a move on. You see, I’m not in at the moment.
Miss Smith I beg your pardon, you are.
Ian What?
Miss Smith In.
Ian No, I’m out.
Miss Smith (sighing) It’s this dreadful rural education. Thank goodness I’ve been appointed to save them from themselves. Dear boy, this is in, do you understand? Under a roof, away from the natural unfettered world, inside. In.
Ian Yes, but I’m only in here because I’m out.
Miss Smith But how can you be out when you’re in?
Ian I was in, but then I got caught out.
Miss Smith Oh you naughty boy. And what did you get up to?
Ian Six.
Miss Smith (squealing) Sex? Oh, I don’t believe it. Do you have no shame in this backwater? All these furtive couplings in the undergrowth -
Ian No, no not sex, six. Oh, I had some great strokes.
Miss Smith Corporal punishment! Six of the best! How deliciously primitive and Lawrentian! You’re not a gamekeeper by any chance?
Ian Me? No, I’m an accountant at the District Council office.
Miss Smith How disappointing. Still, with any luck, the rhythms of nature will have their wicked way. The natural urges, you know -
Geoff Control yourself, Miss Smith. Okay, Ian, so you’re out now. What do you want to add to our debate?
Miss Smith (in a frantic whisper) Out? Oh dear, has the poor boy been in prison? What exactly did he do?
Pam (mock serious) Well, you see, he was out in the field when he took someone’s wicket.
Miss Smith Stole his wicket? How dreadful. I’m shocked, shocked to the core. And now he’s been released. Is he quite - safe?
Mike For God’s sake, stop blethering, woman. He’s only out for the minute; he’ll be back in soon for a second knock.
Miss Smith You mean, he’s only on parole? Protect me, save me!

Miss Smith sinks onto her chair in a dramatic swoon. Pam administers to her as briefly as she can. The rest ignore her

Ian What’s up with her?
Geoff Ignore her. We do.

from The Protest Meeting

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