Nurse & SheriffROBIN HOOD & HIS MERRY MEN
By Robin Bailes & Jonathan Hales
A refreshing new take on the old legend, with Robin and his (very) camp followers, the Merry Men. It has two villains in the evil Prince John and the even eviller Sheriff of Nottingham, and an outrageous dame, Jemima Gusset. Add the authors' original lyrics to some well known songs(including two by Village People), and you have an hilarious mix of fun, music and adventure that is guaranteed to please. Plus, lots of cross-dressing!

"By any criterion, it's a hoot!" Amateur Stage, July 2003

"The show (Robin Hood & His Merry Men) exceeded all expectations. I was lucky enough to be able to cast the Merry Men with three characters that gelled beautifully. Will became camper with each rehearsal and performance, Little John became, if possible, thicker and Friar Tuck more unpredictable. Their scenes together were priceless and elevated them to comic heights.'Let Me Incarcerate You' became a show-stopper of a number with the rest of the on stage cast performing as the backing group.All of the songs came over well and I couldn't see a dud part in any of the principal roles.I think that the authors deserve a round of applause for their creation, one that has provided our little group with many accolades and full houses. The purpose of the venture is to get families in the village involved, providing all of the expertise (except for the MD and one of the cast) from the village and at the same time raise money for the Village Hall Restoration Fund.All these have been accomplished, and as a debut Director, a feeling of great pride in the efforts of all of the participants. Now it's a case of what to do for next year!"
- Paul Green, Coaley ADS, Dursley, Glos.

PLOT RESUME
Jim, a young girl, is desperate to join up with Robin Hood and become a Merry Man. Meanwhile the evil Sheriff is up to no good, raising taxes and imprisoning Jim's parents. He kidnaps Robin's sweetheart Maid Marian and determines to marry her. All of which sets up the glorious finale when the Merry Men conceive a cunning rescue plan.

CAST 4 MALE 4 FEMALE 4 M/F PARTS
Prince John (baddy)
Sheriff of Nottingham (baddy)
Jim (Gymkhana Thatch), a young girl
Robin Hood (PB)
Jemima Gusset (dame)
Maid Marian (PG)
Ellen A-Dale (minstrel)
Guard Craig
Guard David
Will Scarlett (Merry Man)
Little John (Merry Man)
Friar Tuck (Merry Man)

3 MAIN SETS
Production notes inc FX and musical numbers suggested.


Script Sample - The Taxman

Sheriff enters R, and the peasants scatter in direction of L wing

SHERIFF Stop! Stay where you are! Don’t move!
CHORUS Oh no! It’s the Sheriff of Nottingham!

Jim gets audience booing

SHERIFF Shut up, you horrible lot! I have come to collect your taxes!
CHORUS Oh no! (General consternation)
JIM’S DAD But we only paid you yesterday.
JIM Dad, don't argue!
SHERIFF That was Monday’s tax. Today is Tuesday. Which means?
CHORUS (hesitantly) No tax?
SHERIFF Wrong answer! And also rather cheeky. The answer I was looking for was Tuesday’s Tax. You’ll all be fined for that little slip up as well! Especially you. (Points at random chorus member) No particular reason, I just don’t like the look of you.
JIM’S MUM But if you take all our money we'll starve to death!
SHERIFF There's no law against starving. Just tax evasion.
JIM’S DAD We appeal to you.
SHERIFF You don't, you know.
JIM’S MUM But we don’t have any money left.
SHERIFF Oh dear, what do you have left?
JIM’S DAD Just this cow.
SHERIFF For the last time peasant, cows are no longer negotiable currency. Unless, of course, it is a dancing cow. Is it?
JIM’S DAD Errmmm, not that we’re aware of. Wife?
JIM’S MUM No, she’s got two left feet.
SHERIFF Silence, fools! (To guards) Craig, David! Take these simpletons away!!

Guards enter R, and take Mr and Mrs Thatch away to some fiendish dungeon type thing

JIM No, don't take my parents!
SHERIFF Too late, my little friend. Let this be a lesson to the rest of you. You cannot evade my taxes!

Jim leads audience in booing

PEASANT #1 But all we have left are the clothes we stand in, the light we see by and that pile of junk over there. (Indicates junk, possibly labelled "bric-a-brac" to help the audience)
SHERIFF Ahh, which leads me to my new flax, wax and bric-a-brac tax.
PEASANT #2 That's so unfair. You tax everything!
SHERIFF That's because I'm the taxman......

Song 2: “Taxman” (Sheriff)

JIM You'll never get away with this!
SHERIFF Won't I? And who, pray, will stop me? You and your cow?
JIM Why shouldn't we?
SHERIFF (building to hilarious conclusion) Because, you....and your cow .....are.....udderly ridiculous!

Raucous laughter from guards and/or other pro-Sheriff persons

GUARD CRAIG (entering) Sheriff! Sheriff!
SHERIFF What is it, Craig? Fill me in.
GUARD CRAIG Robin Hood has robbed some of our tax gatherers on the other side of the forest!
SHERIFF Robin Hood! Quick, call me a horse!
GUARD CRAIG (shrugs) You're a horse.
SHERIFF (pause) Never mind. I'll get one for myself. Come on!

Sheriff and guards exit R

JIM How dare he treat me like that?! I might be poor but I'm just as good as he is! It's not my parents' fault that they can't pay their taxes, it's not fair! Well I'm going to teach him a lesson and set my parents free. I don't know how but I'll find a way. Come on, Daisy, we'll show him!

Jim exits L

from Robin Hood & His Merry Men, Act 1 Scene 1

Ellen-A-Dale, Little John, Will Scarlet & Friar TuckThanks to WAMADS of Willingham, Cambs. for these pix from their 2005 production, directed by co-author Robin Bailes.

Script details






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