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ONE ACT PLAYS
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SANTA'S CHRISTMAS CAROL
Plot Summary
SET Alison's flat in Glasgow TIME - present day, Christmas Eve
Script Sample The clock on the mantelpiece pings midnight On the last ping there is a scuffling sound and some muffled muttering that might be swearing, and Carol Allbright appears inelegantly from up the chimney. She is dressed in black, figure-hugging clothes, complete with woollen hat, which in deference to the season has a sprig of holly attached. Her face is streaked with coal dust and she has with her a sack, which contains a few objects Carol (getting to her feet) There must be an easier way of earning a living. She looks around the room Oh, this is nice! Very cosy! Very Christmassy! She takes the sherry and drinks it Mmmm! Not bad! She lifts the carrots He’s a red-nosed reindeer, you know, not a rabbit. She puts the carrots down and takes in the Christmas tree Talk about your work of art! Somebody has way too much time on their hands. And just a hint of obsessive compulsive disorder! (Puts on a mock American accent) Who lives in a house like this? David, it’s over to you! She lifts a card from the mantelpiece and reads it From Auntie Vera with regards! (Looks at the picture on the front) Well, Auntie Vera doesn’t think much of you. Cats on a Christmas card are a sure sign the sender hates you, I always say. She puts the card back and wipes the mantelpiece with a fingertip Hmmm!
She looks around for somewhere to hide Alison (offstage) Who’s there? Carol frantically tries to decide where to hide Carol Shit!
Carol dives behind the armchair. She realises she has left her sack lying in front of the fireplace. She starts to crawl out, but the door opens and she ducks back Carol (sotto voce) Shit! Shit! Shit! Alison pokes her head round the door. She is carrying an umbrella like a club, and is wearing a warm, floor-length nightie and carpet slippers Alison Grrrrrr! No! Brutus! No! Alison comes into the room, umbrella at the ready. She turns the light on and looks around nervously, peeking quickly behind the Christmas tree and checking behind I’m trained in karate, you know. And … and pilates! I could kill you with my pinkie. She spots the sack, and prods it gingerly with her umbrella I know you’re in here! The police are on their way. (She pauses) Brutus is a trained sniffer dog, you know. Go on, Brutus! Good dog! Sniff that sack and do your thing! Grrrr! (She makes loud sniffing noises and barks) Carol stands up and emerges with her hands up Carol Oh, for heaven’s sake! Enough with the dog thing! Seriously, it’s embarrassing! Alison raises her umbrella It’s okay! I’m not going to hurt you. from Santa's Christmas Carol
259 The Moorings, Dalgety Bay, Fife, KY11 9GX. ©
2001 Spotlight Publications.
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