Young Sherlock Holmes & The Case of Dick Whittington's Cat pantomime script

King Rat & Drat YOUNG SHERLOCK HOLMES
& THE CASE OF DICK WHITTINGTON'S CAT

By Craig Hewlett
A fresh slant on the classic tale of Dick Whittington with the addition of a young version of Conan Doyle’s great detective Sherlock Holmes, and large helpings of hilarious comedy.
"A clever script that captured the attention of the audience and held it, real family entertainment that fired the imagination. An unusual and highly original piece of theatre.” - June Barker, NODA

PLOT SUMMARY
Dick arrives in London with his cat Thomas, finds work at the home of Baron Landscape, and falls in love with the Baron’s daughter Marigold. The evil King Rat, Bubonic III, plots his downfall. But he joins the crew of Captain Roger Albatross and sets sails for the Americas. After a series of adventures on a Cannibal island, ruled by Queen Lompebom, he is rescued - in the nick of time - by his cat Thomas, Dame Maisie Luvaduck, and of course Young Sherlock.
ISBN 1-904930-51-4

CAST 4 MALE 3 FEMALE 6 M/F PARTS

MAIN PARTS

Dick Whittington, hero
Thomas the Cat
Marigold, the Baron's daughter
Baron Landscape, local dignitary
Maisie Luvaduck, the Baron's cook
Bubonic III, King of the rats
Brat & Drat, Bubonic's henchmen Young Sherlock Holmes, ace detective
Velma Whitsun, Sherlock's assistant
Roger Albatross, sea captain
Lompebom, Queen of the cannibals
Spoon, the Queen's assistant
Mrs Whittington, Dick's mum

4 MAIN SETS
Production notes inc FX and musical numbers suggested.

SET PIECES
Kitchen scene
Cannibals' cooking-pot scene Chorus

We are grateful to Dursley Operatic & Dramatic Society for the pictures from their January 2005 production.

Script Sample - Lovely Grub

The Dame, Maisie Luvaduck, and Captain Roger Albatross are trying to persuade the cannibals not to eat them

Maisie Oh but you can’t eat me. I’m a cook. You must know that too many cooks will spoil the broth.
Albatross Aye and she’ll disagree with you terrible. She’s always disagreeing with people.
Maisie I’ll give you terrible indigestion. I will.
Spoon (holding up a comedy size packet of indigestion sweets) We never get indigestion.
Albatross You wouldn’t want to eat me, shipmate, I’ve been at sea too long. I smell of the sea and I’ve smoked a pipe all me life.
Spoon Hey! Hands up here who likes smoked fish? (Cannibals raise their hands) Nice try, white-whiskers - you go in the pot, too.
Maisie Oh no! Me… Maisie Luvaduck. Boiled up for a cannibals’ dinner. People used to say I was an old boiler, now I really will be! Oh it’s all too much.
Albatross Now, now, Maisie, me little gang plank. We must be strong. We must be brave. We mustn’t give these heathens the satisfaction of seeing they’re scaring us. We must be proud and face our deaths with dignity.
Maisie Yes. Yes, Roger, you’re right. Dignity. Pride and dignity.

Albatross and Maisie throw themselves to their knees and beg - their hands clasped in front of them

Oh! Don’t eat me! Please don’t eat me! I don’t want to die. I’m only a slip of a girl.
Albatross Aye, take pity on an old sea dog and his lassie.
Maisie Oy! Who are you calling Lassie?
Albatross I mean girlie.
Maisie Oh!
Albatross Take pity on us. I begs you.
Spoon You must beg to Queen. Your Majesty? Dinner want word with you.
Queen Mmm.. lovely juicy foreigners. (Prodding Maisie) You are foreign, aren’t you?
Maisie Get your grubby little paws off! We are not foreign. We are English.
Queen English? Oh. Well I don’t usually have an English unless I’ve been out for a few beers with the girls, but I could make an exception in your case.
Maisie Now look here, Hannibal Lecter...
Queen Call me Queenie.
Maisie Queenie?
Queen Well it’s friendlier, isn’t it? I do like to know what I’m eating, don’t you?
Maisie Well yes, I suppose so. But you don’t want to eat us.
Queen Why not? There’ll be plenty for everyone. You’re lovely and plump, aren’t you?
Albatross Aye. That she be. Lovely and plump. Not tough and stringy like I would be.
Maisie Roger!
Spoon Yes. (Poking at Captain Albatross) We have to pluck him first as well.
Maisie Look. I’m telling you. You wouldn’t want me. I’m horrible just look at me.
Queen (she looks her over) Well. I have seen better I’ll admit, but you’re all this lot’s managed to catch for ages, I’m afraid. Times have been hard just lately. We even had to eat one-legged Jim last week.
Albatross One-legged Jim?
Queen Yes. He was two-legged Jim when he first got here, but he was such a lovely chap we couldn’t bear to eat him all at once.
Albatross I’ve got warts. I’m wartier than a wart-hog.
Queen Oh but they’re nice when they’re cooked. Sort of like chewy raisins.
Maisie I’ve got corns. I’ve got corns everywhere, not just on my feet. I’ve even got one on my mouth.
Queen Oh goody. I just love Corn on the Gob.
Maisie Look. For the last time. You wouldn’t want to eat me.
Queen Why not?
Maisie Because I’ve got everything you could possibly imagine. There isn’t one part of me that shouldn’t be disinfected. I’ve got verrucas, bazookas, pimples, dimples, aches and pains, chilblains, varicose veins, planes, trains and automobiles, liver rot, kidney rot, smelly bot. - God I’m hot! Cheesy toes, a runny nose and a knee that goes when I’m comatose.
Queen Is that all?
Maisie Do you like a leg or a wing?
Queen A wing.
Maisie (grabbing her chest) Well my wings aren’t real mate. Now do you still want to eat me?
Queen I have rather lost my appetite.
Maisie (to audience) I thought she would.
Queen What about the fishy one here? I suppose we could always eat him. (She looks at Captain Albatross) Take a bit more preparation, that’s all.
Albatross Ah...you wouldn’t want to eat me, Queenie.
Queen Wouldn’t I? I’m sure you’re going to tell me why.
Albatross Well, I’ve a wooden leg, a plate in me head and teeth I takes out when I goes to bed. I’ve had the black death, so avoid me breath or you’ll find you have no eyebrows left. I’ve had tuberculosis, myxomatosis and I uses me finger for picking me nose-is. There ain’t one disease that I don’t think I’ve had, so if you eats me you’re bound to be bad.
Queen Oh dear. Neither of you sound very appetising.

from Young Sherlock Holmes, Act 2 Scene 3

Script details

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