Sing When You're Winning one act play script

ONE ACT PLAYS

SING WHEN YOU'RE WINNING

PLOT RESUME
A musical comedy for a teenage cast with words by Mark Rees and music composed by Gordon Mundie.It's Cup Final Day, and the Blinkthorpe Trophy is up for grabs. The girls of Eckleston United are geared up ready for the titanic struggle. Unfortunately their goalie, Mandy, has been nicked for shoplifting. And that's only for starters. Join manager Billy, coach Anita, and the girls in their quest for glory. Will they triumph despite overwhelming odds? And who are Bernie and Beryl?

CAST OF 17 TEENAGERS; FOURTEEN GIRLS & 3 BOYS

BILLY, the manager

THE TEAM
MEL
SHARON
TRACY
MAGGIE
HALEY

BERNIE, a 13 year-old girl
MICHAEL, a would-be photographer
SPIKE, Michael's assistant
GEORGE, a 13 year-old boy
ASSISTANT REFEREE (non-speaking) ANITA, the coach

SARAH
RACHEL
LIZZIE
ALICE
CATH

BERYL, Bernie's pal

SET
A football dressing room, a dugout.

TIME - the present
DURATION - approx. 45 minutes

Script Sample

In the dressing room, Billy is going though the team lists

BILLY In goals, Mandy. . . . .
HALEY Sorry, Billy, it’s not going to happen.
BILLY What do you mean?
HALEY She’s not coming.
BILLY Why not?
HALEY She got arrested last night.
BILLY She wasn’t soliciting again, was she?
HALEY No, shoplifting. She was caught in the All-Night shop with a hundred Benson and Hedges down her bra.
BILLY Well this is great. Here we are poised to kick off the most important match we’ve ever played in and we haven’t got a goalkeeper. (Pause) How did she get a hundred fags down her bra? I wouldn’t have thought there was room! Anyway it’s really inconvenient; she’s so selfish.
SARAH What about giving Kylie a ring? She played in goal for us last season.
ANITA She's five months pregnant!
SARAH I’d forgotten that. At least she’d fill the goalmouth!
ANITA Don’t be so nasty.
RACHEL What about Joanne? She’s out on bail.
ANITA No, she broke her leg falling off the roof of that shop she was burgling.
SARAH Mary?
ANITA Had the baby last week.
RACHEL Samantha?
ANITA She’s a possibility.
BILLY Nah, she ran off with the art teacher, don’t you remember? Her mother had a postcard from Ibiza explaining how "she loves him and that she was starting a new life with the man she adores". (Pause) This is a disaster, the only answer is for one of you lot to go in goal and we’ll try and find an outfield player from somewhere.

Bernie and Beryl, the two eleven-year-olds push forward, seeing their chance

BERNIE One of us could play. We’re really good. We wouldn’t let you down, would we, Beryl?

Beryl shakes her head

Perhaps one of us could play in the first half and one in the second? We’ve played before. We have been to all your games; we know how you play. It would be a great chance for us, wouldn’t it Beryl? (Beryl nods her head) We wouldn’t be any bother. Oh please, Billy, it would mean so much to us.
BILLY No, sorry.
HALEY I’m not playing in goal.
SARAH Nor me.
RACHEL Certainly not.
MEL I’ve never played in goal.
LIZZIE Nor me.
ALICE Me neither.
CATH I can’t do it.
SHARON Might break a nail wearing those gloves.
TRACY No way. That ball’s heavy if it hits you.
MAGGIE I won’t do it either.
BILLY Well somebody’s got to do it.

They all look at Anita

ANITA Oh no, not me. I’m happy being the coach but I’m no goalkeeper. I’m forever dropping things at home, you ask my mum. Butterfingers is my middle name. I couldn’t possibly do it.
BILLY Well that’s it then. We’ll have to cancel the game. This is pathetic. After all the hard work I’ve put into this club. You were nothing until I took over. Nothing. You were bottom of the Eastern County Second Division, but with my hard work and persistence you are where you are today, at a cup final. I thought we had a chance to pick up the silverware but now. . . . . .

from Sing When You're Winning

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