The Queen is already onstage when Snow White enters R
QUEEN (to audience) Just watch me go into action. Snow White, my dear.
SNOW Hello, stepmother.
QUEEN Snow White, my dear, allow me to put right a wrong I have done you.
SNOW What wrong? You haven't done me any wrong.
QUEEN I didn't give you a present yesterday on your birthday. Here, take this.
She produces a small box, gift-wrapped and gives it to Snow White
SNOW (opening it) What is it?
QUEEN A ring.
SNOW It's beautiful. Shall I put it on?
The audience shouts out, "No!" "Don't do it" etc.
QUEEN (aside, to audience) Shut up, you fools, there's nothing wrong with it!
Snow White eventually puts it on
SNOW Thank you so much.
QUEEN A mere bagatelle. But I have another surprise for you, my dear. Tomorrow I am arranging a picnic for you.
SNOW A picnic? How lovely!
QUEEN Yes. For all the family. Plus Prince Jamie, of course. You do want him to come, don't you?
SNOW Oh yes of course.
QUEEN Look, why don't you go and tell him now? I think I saw him in the garden just now.
SNOW All right I will. And thank you again, stepmother. Goodbye. (Exits R)
QUEEN Goodbye. Now for phase two of my plan. (She makes a pass) Wimpole, come here.
Almost immediately Wally appears at R, as if in a daze
WALLY (to audience) That's funny. One minute I was cleaning myself up after the wallpapering, and the next I'm here. (Turns to see Queen and screams) Help! It's the Blob! The Thing from Outer Space!
QUEEN Come here, Wimpole, I want you.
WALLY No way, José. Go away, José! Olé, José!
QUEEN (domineering) I said come here, Wimpole!
Wally walks over apprehensively
WALLY (meekly) Yes, ma'am?
QUEEN What did you call me, you wimp?
WALLY Nothing, Your Majesty.
QUEEN That's better. Now come here. Look into my eyes.
WALLY Have you got a bit of dust in them?
QUEEN (soothingly) Look into my eyes.
Wally does so and he becomes mesmerised
Repeat after me. I will do everything you say.
WALLY I will do everything you say.
QUEEN Excellent.
WALLY Excellent.
QUEEN No no, not that, you twirp!
WALLY No no, not that, you twirp!
QUEEN Stop repeating now.
WALLY I obey, master.
QUEEN Good. You creep.
Wally starts to crawl on the ground
What are you doing?
WALLY You told me to creep.
QUEEN Get up. (He does so) Let's try it out now. Are you listening, Wimpole?
WALLY Yes, master.
QUEEN You are a ballet-dancer.
WALLY I am a ballet-dancer.
He ballet-dances
Music: "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy"
QUEEN (after a while) Enough. (He stops) You are Michael Jackson.
WALLY I am Michael Jackson.
Wally moon-dances
Music: "Thriller"
QUEEN (after a while) Enough. (He stops) You are Elvis Presley.
WALLY I am Elvis Presley.
Wally is joined by the dancers, and sings:
Song 7: "A Little Less Conversation" (Wally & Dancers)
QUEEN (after the song) Good. Now listen carefully. I will say zees only once. Tomorrow, at the picnic, I shall be needing your services. When you hear the words, "Elvis Presley" you will do exactly as I tell you. Do you understand?
WALLY I understand, master.
QUEEN Now when I snap my fingers you will return to normal and forget everything that happened.
She snaps her fingers and Wally returns to normal. He shakes his head and goes off R
QUEEN (laughing) Now everything is within my grasp. Tomorrow the whole world will know that I, Belladonna, am the fairest in the land!
She goes off L cackling
from The Story of Snow White,
Act 1 Scene 5
Script details
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THE STORY OF SNOW WHITE